Entitled in-laws hijack adult son for Mother's Day go help in the yard despite it being his wife's first Mother's Day, she refuses to acknowledge Father's Day in retaliation: "I'm just matching your energy"

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    AITAH For not planning anything for fathers day after my husband ruined my first mothers day

    “He prioritizes his mom over our family"
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    I'm 98.7% sure that I am not the AH here, but I'm wrong I'm willing to admit it and learn from my mistakes.
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    Our little boy will be one late this summer, so this was the first mothers day and fathers day for both me and my husband. My
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    husband asked what I wanted for mothers day. I didn't want/need anything big or expensive. What I asked for is:
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    . For husband to get up with the little guy and get him fed while I pumped and chilled
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    . Breakfast in bed - just toast, scrambled eggs and coffee
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    • For us to take the little guy to the zoo for the first time. This was the main thing I was looking forward to.
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    Go to my fav taco place for dinner
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    Between morning and afternoon naps we have about 4 hours of awake time. The zoo is abt 30 min away so I had figured if we left as soon as he got up from his nap
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    and ate, we'd have a couple hours at the zoo and worst case he could sleep in the car on the way home.
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    We took my mom and my MIL out to brunch the prior weekend to celebrate them- his mom on Saturday and my mom on
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    HAPPY OMOTHER'S DAY
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    Sunday. I also got them each a thoughful little present and flowers to celebrate their first mothers day as grandparents. I arranged everything and told my
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    mom and MIL that we'd be celebrating on the actual day with just our little family and sent them a group chat (which included husband, my dad and
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    FIL) just to make sure everyone is on the same page. My MIL is very pushy and overbearing so I didn't want there to be any surprises or confusion.
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    The Saturday before Mother's Day, FIL sent my husband a text with a picture of all the mulch he just had delivered and said something like "gonna be a busy
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    weekend!" or something like that. Apparently he had 300 bags of mulch (they have a big yard with lots of flower beds). That night
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    my MIL called my husband and asked him to come over first thing in the morning to help his dad move the bags of mulch to where they were going to be
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    used. She said since we weren't going to the zoo until after little guy's nap, that husband could go over and help for a couple hours and then come pick us up to go to the zoo. I was obviously not
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    happy but she guilted him and said FIL was going to end up hurting himself if he moved all that by himself and that its not a big deal and should only take an hour or two. I told him his mom
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    was doing this to try and get us to skip our plans and spend the day with them but he kept saying it's not a big deal, saying his mom promised it would only take a couple hours, etc etc.
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    Cheezburger Image 10520048384
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    I think most people know what happened - husband went over first thing, which means no breakfast in bed and I had to get up to feed the little guy. I was kinda ped, but whatever. Spent
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    time with the little guy then when he went down for his morning nap I texted my husband to let him know he should start wrapping things up. Then when little guy woke up 2hrs later I called husband to tell him I'd be ready to go as soon as I finished
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    feeding the little guy. He told me it was taking longer than he expected but that he'd hurry. Like an hour and a half later husband called and said they weren't done but he was getting ready to come home. It's 15-20 minute drive from MIL/FILS house. At that
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    point we'd missed the window to make it to zoo so I told him to just stay there and finish and not worry about Mothers Day since he hadn't done a single thing I asked for. I don't think there wasy any doubt in his mind how ped
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    I was. A little later his mom called and said since we decided not to go to the zoo, that me and little guy should go hang out with her while "the boys" finished with the mulch. I admit that I was pretty pissy and told her I had no. interest in spending time with the
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    people who decided to ruin my first mothers day. I ended up staying home and ordering a pizza and binging Netflix.
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    When husband got home he was all apologetic and asked how he could make it up. I was still pred and told him he could make it up by not ruining my first mothers day. I also told him he should plan on spending Fathers Day
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    with his mom and dad bc me and the little guy were going to go celebrate Fathers Day with my mom and dad.
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    Since Mothers Day MIL has been texting and calling but I've been keeping conversations short and just giving very bland generic responses.
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    My husband has been apologizing and asking what he can do but honestly I don't want to bother. I know it's just a day and we can celebrate any time, like we did with my mom & MIL.
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    But it was my first ever Mothers day. And it's not like I asked for anything expensive or difficult. The only difficult thing is he's incapable of setting boundries with his mom. And she's incapable of considering anyones feelings but her own.
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    This past Saturday he asked if I was still going to my parents then said he'd like to go with us. I told him he could do whatever he wanted but since I hadn't done anything for his dad he might want to go see him or something.
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    We did both end up going to my parents and spending the day with them. It was actually a nice day. My dad insisted on grilling because of course he did but the weather ended up being nice and we spent a lot of time hanging out on their deck playing with the little guy.

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